Why Are The Mascots Winking At Us?

I noticed something today.

Product ads have their cartoon mascots winking at us. And this concerns me. In one week I observed Mr. Clean, Mr. Rooter, and the Pillsbury Dough Boy all winking at me from beyond the screen. While watching a Mr. Clean commercial, I turned to my wife and said "Honey...why is the large, muscular, bald man with a mop winking at me?"

WHY are these products winking at us? What are these companies trying to communicate? I don't know about your world...but in my world, a WINK means one of two things:

A. I'm kidding about EVERYTHING I just said to you. (wink)

Or...

B. I'm really attracted to you right now. (wink)

So, we have to ask ourselves the question: "When the Pillsbury Dough Boy winks at me...is he kidding about everything he just said about his product? Or DOES the small, pasty white man INDEED find me irresistible?"

YOU decide.