Today started like any other; A cup of coffee, a bit of breakfast, and a drive to the office.
While fighting traffic, I passed a car full of Santa's. All of the seats in the Ford Focus were occupied. The vehicle contained 3 Santa's & only ONE Mrs. Claus. At first, I didn't think much of it. But I pondered the sight. A twinge of horror and panic entered my soul.
Here's my fear: This isn't the first time that I've noticed this Santa-to-Mrs. Santa ratio over the last few years. And it disturbs me and grieves my spirit. I’m concerned that the "Santa-to-Mrs. Santa ratio" in the wild is lopsided. I KNOW that you’ve seen it too. This isn’t new. Most of us just ignore it and tell ourselves it's just an anomaly.
But I believe that there is a real epidemic starting here. Over the last decade I think we’ve all seen an increase in the number of Santa's and a major decrease in the number of Mrs. Santa's. It's time for a solution.
Here is what I propose. It’s time to introduce some hunting legislation to protect the Mrs. Santa’s so their numbers will increase. Hopefully, within a few years, we won’t have these lopsided 3-to-1 Santa-to-Mrs. Santa Ratios. Who wants to live in a world that's so out of balanced? Do you?
This is way out of hand. The competition out there for Mrs. Santa's is insane right now. Everywhere you go, you’ve got hoards of 3, 5, 10, even a dozen Santa's (in some cases) living in competition over 1 Mrs. Santa.
Do your part. Get out and educate your neighbors. And this Christmas, go to the polls and vote yes on prop 12/25. Let us perhaps create a protected habitat somewhere within a Hobby Lobby or a Hallmark shop for these Mrs. Santa's. Future generations will thank us. And our days will remain merry and bright.
Honestly... do you really want to look your grandchildren in the face, stare into their tear-stained eyes & say "No, Virginia...there ISN'T a Mrs. Claus. We just didn’t do enough to protect her?"
